If only...

If only

I could just

Make one beautiful bird like nature

Or one beautiful sunset like the sky

Or a pure, crystal clear song emanate from my throat

The way the birds, everyday in their moody chirps and twitters

Whistle-

Alas, it is not to be

For I just remain a little artist

In myriad ways who tries to capture

What nature creates so effortlessly

All my pain, all my tears, all my fears and my ecstasies

Pale when despite my best, i am so colourless

In front of this infinity that nature creates every single moment in time

And me- aware of it every moment too.

I remain 'little' for the little beauty that I create

It intoxicates me so -

That I gloat in its lights, in its splendour, in its color

It blinds me so-

I throw parties in my name, or I go berserk falling in love with me-self

Again and again, and again!

Then I remain at my 'little' level, and the birds sing outside

The sky changes an infinite hue

Yet I think to me-self 'I am the creator'

My little 'creation'- insignificant, inconsequential, arrogant...

Yet I strut about it, I show off my little painting,

My solitary song, I wrap it up into films and posters

I record it on albums and devices

Waiting for applause from others who behold it, hear it or watch it

I gloat in my little one book of poetry or prose

Or may be ten books or more

Or a hundred songs or paintings,

Or murals or sculptures or movies-

Nothing I am, yet full of ME-self

So arrogant, proud and conceited I am

Nature silently weaves and I think 'tis me

The colours change around and I think 'tis me

Ah! ignorant, ignorant me

Insignificant, yet full of significance- for my 'little' ego

Reminds me, reminds me

That maybe I am 'special'

Am I really so?

Can I be special unless really 

I acknowledge all this infinity around me

Not let my 'little' pride take me to that mountain peak

That my pgymy mind creates and makes me perch on?

Am I really special or is it is little me, reflecting the GIANT ME?

And forgetting the giant I owe inspiration to, take it to come from within

Once again arrogant, blinded and dwarfed

Full of my own significance

Alas how insignificant finally!